


The Wooden Rabbit

by OopsHi_TillTheWheelsFallOff



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-05
Updated: 2017-03-05
Packaged: 2018-09-28 09:16:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10084964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OopsHi_TillTheWheelsFallOff/pseuds/OopsHi_TillTheWheelsFallOff
Summary: Bellamy wishes he could have kept The Wooden Rabbit associated with happy memories... But that's not the case anymore.





	

  My sister, my responsibly, Bellamy repeated the thought over and over again in his clouded mind. With shaking hands he reached up to tug at his shaggy, black hair. 

  He turned and began to pound on the drop ship as tears of frustration welled up in his eyes. He brought his hand back and punched the metal, relishing the way that the pain shocked his system. 

  The tears spilled over and down his cheeks, there was no stopping them. He didn't even care who saw him. 

  His voice came out in a broken whisper that he didn't even recognize, "I'm so sorry." 

*

15 years ago

  Bellamy raced directly from his classes to the store. His mom always had him do the grocery shopping. He normally hated it but was now particularly excited to go because of the last time he had been. Something caught his eye. Since then, he had been determined to save up for it. 

  The eight year old quickly got the grocery shopping out of the way, and then raced over to make sure he had enough money for the precious item. It was a small rabbit, about the size of his palm, that had been carved out of wood. They didn't have wood on the ship, so Bellamy knew it must have been earth made. 

  The fact that this rabbit came from earth wasn't the only reason that Bellamy wanted it so badly. 

  Octavia's (his eleven month old sister) favorite book was The Velveteen Rabbit. Whenever she was in one of her crying fits, the only thing that would soothe her was reading her the book. He had read it so many times in the last few months that he could recite most of it by memory. 

  So, he figured that for now it would be a cute toy and when she was old enough, he would explain the meaning behind it. 

  Bellamy proudly handed over the money he had saved(some of it he may had stolen from his mother), and pointed at the wooden rabbit.  

  When Bellamy got back to their flat, he set the groceries down on the table and then rushed back to his room and shut the door. He pulled out the pocket knife that had come from his great great grandfather and then carefully carved one small thing onto the back of the rabbit, O. 

  When he was done, he grasped the object in his hand and walked out into the main room. He pulled the loose tile from the floor and peered down at his sleeping sister. 

  She slowly blinked, reaching a chubby hand up to rub at her face and then when her eyes landed on Bellamy, her face lit up.

   "Hey, O." 

  Octavia reached her arms out, indicating that she wanted to be picked up. He happily obliged.

  He sat down on the floor and then set her down across from him. "Look at what I have." Bellamy held the rabbit up in front of him. 

  She grinned at it and reached a hand out to try and touch it. Bellamy shook his head and scooted backwards. "Come on, I know you can do it. You've come so close before." 

  Octavia looked offended that she wasn't getting the rabbit immediately. She pouted and stuck her arm out again. He shook his head. If the toy wasn't going to come to her, then she was going to go to the toy. 

  Out of frustration, she grabbed the coffee table next to her and shakily pulled herself up. Octavia steadied herself with one hand, and tried to grab it with the other. She just wasn't close enough. Slowly, her grip released on the table and she took three quick, wobbly steps towards Bellamy. 

  Once she reached her destination, her legs immediately gave out and she landed abruptly in her older brother's lap. With a triumphant grin, she latched onto the rabbit and pulled it close to her chest. 

  "You did it! Octavia, you took your first steps! That's my girl." Bellamy smiled largely as he lifted her easily above his head, causing her to giggle when he blew raspberries into her stomach. 

  Bellamy pulled her back down and hugged her small form. "I knew you could do it," he whispered. 

  * 

  Bellamy could hear the cries before he even got to the door. He gulped, swallowing the worry that a guard would come investigate the sound and also preparing himself for one of his mom's moods. She always became so mean whenever Octavia was like this. 

  It had been a month since Octavia had taken her first steps and she was constantly wanting to wander around. Their mother hated it.

  He stepped inside, taking his shoes off at the door. 

  "Hey, mom. What's wrong with O?" His mother was frantically rocking her back and forth, placing her hand over the child's mouth to attempt to quiet the cries. He could see that Octavia was holding the rabbit that he had given her in a tight fist, which made him smile despite the situation. 

  "I don't know. She's been like this ever since she woke up half an hour ago. She keeps mumbling something over and over again. I can't tell what it is. I'm pretty sure it's just her babbling." 

  Octavia's eyes landed on Bellamy. She made grabby hands at him and leaned over her mother's shoulder. "Bemy, Bemy, Bemy!" 

  Bellamy took her and she immediately quieted down and laid her head on his shoulder. She gave a content sigh. "Bemy."

  "Is that what she's been repeating?" 

  The exhausted woman nodded. 

  "Mom, she was saying Bellamy." 

  "Is that her first word?" Bellamy nodded excitedly as he stroked her black curls with a soothing hand. 

  "Of course it is." She should be happy that her daughter had just spoken her first word, but instead she was focusing on the fact that it wasn't her own name. 

  It was no surprise. The woman was always rushing to put her under the floor, constantly leaving them at weird hours that couldn't possibly be for productive reasons, and always in a snappy mood. 

  She sighed and reached for Octavia, "Let me see her. I need to put her back before the guards come." 

  For the first time ever, Bellamy didn't immediately do as his mother asked. 

  He took a step back, tightening his grip on Octavia. "No." 

  "No?" She questioned with an edge to her voice and a raised eyebrow, daring him to challenge her again. 

  "No," he repeated firmly. "My sister, my responsibility."  

  And with that, he turned on his heels and headed back to his room, shutting and locking the door behind them. 

*

13 years ago

  Octavia had just turned three and was talking up a storm. She was such a chatter box. If Bellamy hadn't found her rambling so cute, he would have stuffed her under the floor just to get some peace and quiet.

  Bellamy had left to hang out with Jackson, his best friend. He had grown up with Jackson because their moms had always been close friends. They grew even closer when they both had the secret of a second child to keep. Kyle was about a year older than Octavia, and they would sometimes get a chance to play together whenever Kyle's mom snuck him over for a secret play date. 

  Bellamy frowned as he walked into the small, dingy apartment. The air seemed to constrict around his throat, filling his lungs with recycled air that had been circulating in the same room as the month old dishes that sat in the sink. 

  The counter tops were grimy with food and dust, it was clear that his mom hadn't cleaned in a while. Although it was true that they hadn't had water for the past few weeks he wasn't sure that she would have cleaned even if they did have the option. 

  The lights above him flickered. He shut his eyes tightly and took a deep breath to help calm down(all it did was fill him up with even more disgusting air), just walking into the apartment stressed him out. 

  His stress faded away as his eyes moved from the gross countertops down to his adorable sister. She was playing with the rabbit and a small doll that she had been given as a gift for her first birthday. 

  The doll and bunny were having a conversation about what dress to wear to dinner. 

  Octavia glanced up and smiled, setting down her doll but not her rabbit and running to Bellamy. 

  "Bell!" She exclaimed. Although all her 'l's'took on a 'w' sound still, so it sounded more like "Bew". 

  He carried her back to where she had been playing and set her down. 

  "Where's mom?" 

  Octavia shrugged her shoulders. Bellamy decided to get up and check. When he walked into his mother's room, she was passed out on the bed, a bottle of half empty whiskey beside her. No wonder their water wasn't on yet, she had decided to spend their little income on alcohol instead. This had happened before and it pissed Bellamy off. 

  He rolled his eyes and walked back over to play with his sister.

  "I wanna go outside," Octavia whined and pointed towards the door. She got up and started to make a break for the exit. 

  Bellamy's eyes widened and he immediately jumped to his feet, only taking one long stride to catch up to the child with the short legs.

  He wrapped his hands around her stomach and pulled her backwards. "No, no, no. We stay inside, O." 

  "You don't." She pouted and crossed her arms. 

  "You know you can't leave..." 

  Octavia scowled at him. She looked a lot like their mother in this moment, with her eyebrows all scrunched up and her mouth pressed into a line. 

  Sometimes he resented his mom for having her. Bellamy loved Octavia more than anything in the universe, but because of this, it hurt him to see her not be able to have much of a life and he knew she hated it too. 

  "Why not?" She demanded. He searched his brain for a good response. This had been the first time she had really fought him on this. 

  "It's not safe. Mom could get in trouble. So could you or me. It's just not a good idea, sorry, O." 

  She let out a breath of frustration and hit her foot against the tile. "I hate you," she glared. 

  The next thing she did hurt his heart. Octavia stomped over to the trash, making sure to catch Bellamy's eye, and then dropped the rabbit into the can. 

  Tears prickled at his eyes but all he did was nod grimly. "Okay. I love you. No matter what." 

  Then he headed to his room. 

  When Bellamy woke up the next morning, he smiled to himself as he picked up the rabbit that had been placed on his night side table. 

Octavia must have decided to forgive him. 

*  
4 years ago

  "Bellamy!" Bellamy immediately reacted to his sister's panic filled voice.

  "O?" He called, "O, where are you?" 

  "Bathroom!" She called back. 

  When he got there he immediately tried pulling on the handle, but it was locked. He knocked impatiently on the door. Within seconds, it opened and her head stuck out. 

  Tears were forming in her fear filled eyes and it made Bellamy's heart clench. All he wanted to do was to pull her close, but she wouldn't open the door any wider. 

  "Bell," she began with a shaky voice, "I'm dying." 

  "What's wrong, sweetheart?" He tried to keep the panic out of his voice but seemed to be failing. 

  "I'm bleeding" And then she lowered her voice to a whisper, "from down there..." 

  Bellamy was pretty sure he went quiet for a full two minutes. He sat there trying to form words or react to the situation but all of his effort was going into suppressing his laughter. 

  He felt so bad when he looked at his sister's terrified face but even as a twenty year old, supposedly mature guy, he couldn't keep a straight face. 

  "I, uh," he started and then bit back a laugh, "why don't you stop the bleeding with toilet paper and then meet me in the living room? We need to talk." 

  To this day, it was the most awkward conversation they had ever had. 

*

2 years ago

  Bellamy couldn't stop pacing. He had checked every room in their very tiny apartment and he hadn't had any luck. 

  He kept glancing at the clock, even though he had no idea when she would return or even if she would. 

  Their mom was gone, that part was a normalcy. But so was Octavia. She had never left the apartment without his knowledge. Had a guard come to take both of them? Had they been found out?  

  Before he could form another absolute-worst-conclusion-thought, the door opened and Octavia slipped through it. 

  Relief rushed through him just as quickly as the dread had filled the pit in his stomach when he found that he couldn't find her. 

  Bellamy surged forward and wrapped his arms around her small frame(it was a wonder she had managed to stay so petite, all she ever did was sit around their apartment). 

  He pulled back and noticed the wince that reached her face before he could even start chastising her. 

  "Where the hell were you?" 

  "None of your business," she muttered and then turned to walk away from him. He roughly grabbed her wrist and swung her back around. 

  "Like hell it isn't," he growled. His arms folded across his puffed out chest in his best 'I am very upset with you and you better take me seriously' stance. 

  "Just leave me alone. I don't have to answer to you," she shot back with a roll of her eyes. 

  He responded with a glare. 

  "I was with Kyle. We went over to his house for a change of scenery, for me anyways." Kyle was her boyfriend of a few months, and also her only childhood friend. 

  Bellamy had been extremely weary when she told him about their relationship, and not just because he was her older brother and things like this were supposed to bug him. He didn't think it was a good idea to get involved with her only friend. What if they broke up and couldn't go back to being friends? Octavia would be extremely lonely. 

  And now he had another reason to hate their status. "Kyle? Are you kidding me? This is why, Octavia. I don't need anything risking your safety." 

  "No. You just look for any reason at all to hate on him. He's a great guy, Bellamy. We're in love." She emphasized the last word and then mirrored his stance, arms over her chest. 

"Jesus Christ, O, you're fourteen years old. That's barely old enough to be in a relationship, let alone be in love! You need to end it." 

  Her mouth widened slightly and her breathing became rapid with anger. "And you need to remove that giant stick from your ass!" 

  Bellamy's nostrils flared. He shut his eyes tightly and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Go to your room," he said in a voice that was so calm and low that it sent chills down Octavia's spine. 

  "You mean my hole in the floor?" She challenged with a raised eyebrow. Bellamy went to reply but she talked before he had the chance to. "Fine," she huffed.

  Octavia reached into her pocket, removing the rabbit that she always carried with her and stared at him with angry eyes. 

  He rolled his eyes as she tossed the wooden animal into the trash. She had picked up this habit whenever she would get mad at him, just to let him know exactly how angry she was and to prove a point. Whenever he would wake up the next morning it would be sitting on his night stand. 

  This process had only happened about eight times. They didn't have major fights very often. And when they did, they were so bad it left them both feeling terrible afterwards.

  That time it didn't appear on his night stand until three days of the silent treatment later.

* 

  Now

  The sound of swift moving water over rocks was music to Bellamy's ears. He would never get used to the sweet smell of the air or the nature sounds that blended together in a magnificent symphony. 

  The sights were even better. He loved the way the sun hit all of the sweet spots of the earth, shining magnificently through tree tops and creating a glowing halo around various objects.

  Colors painted the sky every time the sun came up or down, making Bellamy want to believe that there was a God who delicately and meticulously painted the sky Himself. 

  All of the nature sights were wonderful, but his absolute favorite one was his beautiful girlfriend Clarke. 

  He was pretty sure he had spent any shred of luck he had ever had by ending up with her. She was his everything, besides Octavia of course. 

  Speaking of his sister, Bellamy caught a glimpse of black hair out of the corner of his eye. 

  "Hey." 

  He picked up a pebble and threw it into the water as he took a seat next to her. 

  "Hi," she replied, glancing up for just a second only to look back down to where she was twirling her rabbit in her hands. Bellamy smiled slightly. 

  "I don't wanna be here," she mumbled quietly with sagging shoulders. She may be sixteen, but he still saw her as his baby sister.

   "And you think I do? No one does." 

  "It's different with you. You made a choice." Bellamy shook his head at her.

  "I did what I always have. Kept you safe." 

  "Oh really? Is that what you were doing when you snuck me into the dance, promising me that I'd be safe then?" 

  Bellamy licked his lips and pressed them into a line, throwing the next pebble a little harder than the last. "You know I couldn't have predicted that," his voice was low and shaky. 

  This had been a sensitive subject to the both of them. 

  "I keep growing close to people only to watch them be picked off by the Grounders. I am constantly in danger and I live every second in fear."

  "I was only trying to help, O." His voice was getting shakier with emotion. She was his weakness. But Octavia didn't seem to care, she was blinded by the anger that she was stuck on this planet when she could be up in space. At home. 

  "Yeah? Well I'm done with your help. You ruined my life." 

  And then he snapped. "I ruined your life?" He questioned with a bitter smile, glancing around the woods wildly as if he was looking for an imaginary audience that would agree with him on how ridiculous that statement was. 

  "For the past sixteen years, everything I've done has been for you. I could have been confined for all of the things I did for you. I never had any free time because I spent it all with you so that you wouldn't be lonely. While you were in confinement, I punched a guy for making snide remarks about you and then had to sleep with a guard to sweep my charges under the rug. I shot the fucking chancellor for you and when they come down, they'll probably kill me. Don't you dare say that I ruined your life because mine ended the day you were born." 

  Bellamy regretted the words as soon as he saw his sister's face contort into one of sadness for a split second, but he was just so overcome with anger. How dare she say he ruined her life? He had done everything in his power to make sure that that was not the case.

  Octavia was staring at him with a look so intense, he internally shivered. A quiver of her lower lip let him know that what he had said had definitely hurt her. 

  She didn't say anything else, just glared at him as she reached into her pocket. Bellamy rolled his eyes and clenched his jaw, reaching across and gripping her arm to stop it from moving. 

  "This is getting ridiculous. You're sixteen years old, don't be so childish." 

  Her eyes flashed with an unrecognizable  emotion, one of intense anger. "Let. Go. Of. Me," she ordered through clenched teeth. 

  He obliged and put his hands up in surrender. "Fine, throw it. But just know that if you do, it's for good. There's no getting that back. I will not go with you into the woods to look for it and there's no way in hell you're going alone." 

  Octavia refused to respond. She just continued the anger fueled staring match, reached into her pocket and grabbed the rabbit. 

  Something in her expression faltered, she looked like she was about to break down sobbing. But then she glanced back up at Bellamy's expecting face, and her features hardened. 

  She drew her arm back and chunked it a long ways ahead of them. It went so far that she couldn't even see where it landed. 

  Octavia raised a challenging eyebrow and turned back to look at her brother's surely irritated face, but all she got was his back and the sound of leaves crunching under his shoes as he walked away. 

  She had been so full of anger, she could barely even remember what exactly had happened or what was said. All that was left of the argument was the way her heart seemed to break apart in her chest. 

*

Bellamy found himself falling even harder for Clarke. She knew just what to say when he was in one of his moods and his argument with Octavia had definitely put him in one. 

He even managed a small smile when she kissed him on the cheek and told him that Octavia would come around and see that what she had said was bullshit. 

Clarke had set him straight though and told him that he needed to apologize for what he had said and that it wasn't okay. Bellamy was not in the habit of apologizing for his mistakes, but Clarke had seemed to change that. 

* 

A few months ago

  The night clothed Bellamy in darkness, working with him as he snuck towards Clarke's tent. Their relationship hadn't quite been made known to everyone yet, they didn't want it to be used against them somehow. 

  He unzipped the tent as quietly as possible and slipped in almost completely silently. 

  A smile spread across his face when he saw Clarke sitting criss crossed in front of him, eyebrows furrowed together and her tongue slightly stuck out in a look of concentration. She looked so cute. 

  "Hey." Bellamy kissed her on the cheek. 

  "Hi," she replied with a slight smile, still not looking up from whatever she was doing. 

  "What are you doing?" He asked, noticing the  paper and pencil that she was currently using to draw some sort of map. 

  She sighed and marked an 'x' on one side of the paper. "Writing down everything we know about the Grounders and the lay out of the surrounding area. I'm also trying to come up with tactics, don't want to forget anything." 

  "Mm," Bellamy grunted in response, not actually listening to her explanation, "sounds boring." 

  He shifted closer, moved her hair out of the way, and began to kiss down the side of her neck. 

  To his surprise, she cocked her head to the side to cut off his access. "Cut it out, Bell." 

  "Why?" He tried again but she gave him a slight shove this time. She still wouldn't even look up. 

  "I mean it," she snapped. "Leave me alone. I'm busy." 

  "Too busy for your boyfriend?" He retorted with a playful yet offended expression. 

  "Considering I'm working on trying to save all of our asses, yeah, definitely too busy. You should get busy too, Bellamy. There's lots to be done." 

  "Wow, someone is moody. That time of the month?" 

Clarke's mouth dropped open with an offended expression and she gave him a hard glare. "Bellamy, I'm your girlfriend. Not some sex toy. You can't get things from me at the drop of a hat. I told you I'm busy. Quit being an asshole. If you can't respect that then maybe you should go have sex with one of those girls who seem to throw themselves at you." 

Bellamy blinked in surprise at his girlfriend's outburst. He wasn't used to getting turned down, and he hadn't realized that he was being a jerk. But he was too offended by pretty much being called a man whore and an asshole to feel bad. 

"Wow, okay then." 

And with that, he left her tent and stalked back to his own. 

The next day, he found Clarke getting some supplies out of the infirmary tent. 

He snuck up behind her and snaked his arms around her waist. "Hey," he whispered in her ear. 

She pried his arms off of her and turned around. "What the hell are you doing?" 

"Uhm, hugging my girlfriend?" He replied with furrowed eyebrows. 

She shook her head and took a step back. "And what makes you think that you can do that?" 

"Because our argument is over? I'm not mad anymore." 

Clarke scoffed and looked at him like he was crazy. "Unbelievable. Good for you." 

She turned to walk away from him but he grabbed her wrist, shooting her a charming smile and trying to pull her close. 

She didn't object but her face remained contorted into an annoyed expression. 

He was shocked that she wasn't melting in his arms. Bellamy Blake could charm any girl into forgiving him. He began to get slightly frustrated.

"Wow, you're actually mad. What should I do to make it better?" 

Clarke rolled her eyes. "Apologize! You're expecting forgiveness without actually apologizing. That may have been okay with your past girlfriends but I'm not like them." 

Bellamy's face softened. "You're right. You're not like them, and that's why I love you. You're special, Clarke and I'm sorry, okay? You're right, I was a jerk last night. I should have respected that you weren't in the mood and even should have helped you out. I'm getting used to this whole 'being an actual boyfriend' thing. Before you, the rest of my relationships were just flings. But you make me want to be different. You make me want to change into a better person. So, I hope that you can forgive me, because I really am sorry." 

A slow grin began to spread across Clarke's face. Bellamy reached a hand up to caress the side of her face. His eyes were filled with nothing but love and apologies. This time, Clarke melted on the inside, as well as melted into his embrace. 

"Thank you," she sighed into his shoulder, "I forgive you. And I'm sorry for calling you an asshole. But to be fair you kind of are an asshole." 

Bellamy chuckled and planted a kiss on the top of her head. 

"I know. But I'm your asshole." 

* 

Bellamy cast an appreciative glance at his girlfriend. 

"You're right," he nodded at her and began to get up. He needed to go apologize to Octavia. 

He watched as a girl with red hair approached the two of them, glancing worriedly at Bellamy and then whispering something in Clarke's ear. 

Clarke's eyes widened but Bellamy could tell she was trying to mask her fear under a neutral expression. 

"What?" Bellamy asked, glancing between the two of them. "What is it?" 

Before either of them could answer, his eyes landed on the source of their worry. Two guys were carrying a small girl into the camp. A small girl with black hair.

Octavia. 

And then he noticed the reason that she was being carried instead of walking into camp. There was blood oozing out of an arrow wound in her side. 

Bellamy broke out into a sprint to get to his sister as quickly as possible, as if his presence would make everything okay. 

Clarke was right beside him, rushing to assess the situation and decide how to start treating her.

"What the hell happened?" Bellamy's voice came out panicky and shaky as he looked to the two guys who had just set her down in the drop ship.

"We were out hunting when we heard a scream. We ran to go check it out and found her lying on the ground in the woods... A grounder must have shot her." 

"What the hell was she doing out there?" 

No one could answer because no one knew. The earth seemed to sway beneath Bellamy's feet. "I shouldn't have left her," he muttered. Clarke wanted to comfort him, but she had the most medical experience in the camp and if Octavia was gonna live, she needed to focus. 

"I thought she would head back to camp." He shook his head and tried to blink the tears away. 

"Octavia. Open your eyes for me, O," Bellamy pleaded. Everyone was watching him with sympathetic eyes. 

"Out," Clarke ordered, "Everyone out except for Bellamy." 

They listened, not wanting to mess with her because of her intimidating tone and expression. 

Octavia's eyes fluttered open and she winced in pain. She glanced down at the wound and then back up at Bellamy. 

She managed a small smile, so filled with pain it seemed more like a grimace. "Looks like your life can finally begin, Bell." Her voice was hoarse and he knew she meant it as a joke, but Bellamy hated himself for telling her his life had ended when she had been born. 

He shook his head and squeezed her hand, "No, I am so sorry, O. I was mad and I shouldn't have said that. There is no excuse except that I was being a jerk. I'm so sorry. You made my life so much better and I love you. My life didn't end the day you were born, but it will if you die, so I need you to fight this." 

Octavia had tears running down her face. She went to reply, but ended up coughing up blood. Bellamy had to look away because he began to feel sick. Not because it disgusted him, but because he knew the chances of her survival were slim. 

"I'm sorry, but I need you to save your strength, Octavia. You can't talk." Bellamy could see the tears in Clarke's eyes as she worked hurriedly to save his sister's life. He was so appreciative for her in this moment, even if she couldn't save her. 

Clarke tried for hours, but Bellamy could see that Octavia wasn't getting any better. His head was pounding and eyes were stinging at the thought of losing her. There was only so much Clarke could do and she had done it all. 

Octavia's breathing was shallow and rapid, she kept wincing and groaning.

Clarke shot Bellamy a look. He didn't see how it was possible but there were so many things to be understood in that one look. 

I'm so sorry. 

I did everything I could. 

I love you. 

It'll be okay. 

Bellamy nodded at her. The hardest thing he had ever had to do was letting Clarke know that it was okay to stop. 

Clarke pulled up a chair and gave it to him, leaving the room to give them privacy. Bellamy sat down and ran his fingers through his sister's black hair in an attempt to comfort her. 

"I love you," he said for the second time that day. He wasn't a touchy feely guy, so those three words didn't come easily. 

She went to reply but he shook his head. "Don't say anything, I know." He nodded his head and pressed his lips into a line, biting down hard on his lower one to try to distract himself from the unbearable pain he was feeling. 

It was so hard to watch her labored breathing. He almost wished she would fall unconscious because he knew she was in a lot of pain. He also knew that she was still conscious because of him. She was still fighting. 

"I have an idea. Close your eyes, O." Octavia nodded and let her eyes shut. 

"There was once a velveteen rabbit, and in the beginning he was really splendid..." 

Octavia smiled through the pain when she realized that he was going to read her her favorite book, The Velveteen Rabbit, one last time. A tear slipped from one of her eyes. 

Her breathing began to even out as he read on. The panic that hadn't left since she had been shot began to fade away. 

* 

After an hour, her breathing had stopped altogether and Bellamy's world came crashing down around him. 

 

My sister, my responsibly, Bellamy repeated the thought over and over again in his clouded mind. With shaking hands he reached up to tug at his shaggy, black hair. 

  He turned and began to pound on the drop ship as tears of frustration welled up in his eyes. He brought his hand back and punched the metal, relishing the way that the pain shocked his system. 

  The tears spilled over and down his cheeks, there was no stopping them. He didn't even care who saw him. 

  His voice came out in a broken whisper that he didn't even recognize, "I'm so sorry."

Bellamy sunk to the ground and placed his head in his hands. Shock took over any other emotion. There was no way that she was actually gone. No way. 

Clarke approached him cautiously. She placed a hand on his shoulder and kissed the top of his head. 

"Hey," she muttered. "I have something I need you to look at." 

Bellamy looked up and Clarke almost let out a cry at the pure broken expression that was on his face. 

"We went to move her body to get it ready for burial, and found this clutched in her hand. Do you recognize it?" 

She dropped it into his hand. 

Every thing inside of him hurt. This is why she had been in the woods. She had gone back to get it. 

Bellamy let out a sob as his thumb ran over the O that was carved into the back of his sister's wooden rabbit.


End file.
